The Emoji Movie: cash grabbing at its worst?

The Emoji Movie looks to be a perfect blend of easy merchandising opportunities, lazy writing, and enough pop culture references that audiences will be forced to relate to it in one way or another. Given that this film feels like there was no effort put into its inception, it only feels right to put the same amount of effort in hiding contempt for its very existence.

T.J. Miller, moderately entertaining comedian and famous stoner, plays a Meh emoji. This feels so absolutely fitting of this film. Meh is trying to fit in, but he suffers from experiencing a broader range of emotions than just his standard indifference. If this sounds a bit familiar in terms of animated film history, please see any coming-of-age film ever where the main character aspires to more than they were born to be. Wreck-It Ralph springs to mind, but that’s honestly an insult to Disney. Moving on.

There are so many remakes and reboots, but The Emoji Movie is a powerful argument against creativity and fresh ideas.

Meh is relegated to the place where unused emoji reside, where Jailbreak—who is obviously a cool, kooky character, as depicted by her unnatural hair color—embarks on a mission with Meh to get to the source code and help him fit in better. They go on a mad-cap adventure with High Five. Candy Crush Saga, a game that holds almost as little relevance as pet rocks, and technology humor so simple even great-grandparents can enjoy it are staples to this trailer.

The real, pressing questions, of course: why are there so many actors attached to this film? Who has sufficient blackmail material to persuade Sir Patrick Stuart to voice a poop emoji?

James Corden and Patrick Stewart star, if we can even call it that, in the films obvious attempts to legitimise its existence through the fame of others. 

Yes, there are so many remakes and reboots, but The Emoji Movie is a powerful argument against creativity and fresh ideas. After this, the next twenty or so Avatar movies James Cameron apparently intends to make should feel like a walk in the weird, blue-cat-people-populated park. Parents: prepare yourselves for months of hearing this film quoted incessantly. Parents: maybe now is a good time to introduce your children to classic Disney, Jim Henson’s brilliant films, or even Lord of the Rings while also isolating your brood from any media that may expose them to this animated excrement.

By Phil Gorski

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